They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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