i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
