im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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