The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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