just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
