did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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