Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
