He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
