GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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