You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Randomize
