i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
