It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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