eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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