I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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