I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
