We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
