By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
