I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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