yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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