it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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