hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
