just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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