Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
