You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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