so explain again why im purple
no
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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