some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
