4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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