Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
