His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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