just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
