Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
