he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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