Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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