the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize
