i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
