You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Pants are for mortals
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
