OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
