I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
