people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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