he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
