even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
