doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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