***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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