I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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