there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We're too hungover to prance.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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