I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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