I just pynch a tree in the face
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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