You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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