youre lurking in front of me
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
