wrigley field is MILF paradise
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
