Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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